Tuesday 21 May 2019

Rogue Milkshake

Some rules for deploying Weaponised Dairy Based Beverages in Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader.

Milkshake 40K

Milkshake costs 5PV. I don't know if that Milkshake is worth 5PV, but it's pretty good.

Some Milkshake orientated scenarios you might like to consider include:

  • The 'delivery' of a Milkshake to a corrupt planetary governor attempting a meta-political coup. 
  • Dealing with the fall-out of a Milkshake used in hasty self-defence against an Ogryn Leader.
  • A Milkshake in a yard as a mission objective for all the Ork Boyz to capture. 

Once an Imperial Commander has developed a taste for Jadeberry flavoured Grox milk, what next? There is always the danger of Milkshake escalation to consider. Perhaps Ice Cream Cones could be the next step up in the Dairy Arms Race. For the lactose intolerant, maybe other snack and fast food based weapons could be developed - unexpectedly popping an empty inflated bag of potato crisps as a sonic weapon that causes Panic, or opening very shaken up cans of fizzy pop. In the grim dark future there is only the limit of your imagination.

Although I hadn't really intended to do anything with it, Jason of Rogue Heresy  and Colin of The Leadpile were both enthused about the Milkshake 40k concept and requested a T-Shirt based on the Rogue Trader style artwork, so here it is!

Rogue Milkshake T-Shirt

Rogue Milkshake t-shirt available now from the Spreadshirt Zhu Shop in 19 flavours, including Orange and Asphalt, for a special introductory price of £15.99 - get them while they are fresh!

19 comments:

  1. Ha! I was hoping there would be some remark about how effective they are at attracting Orks, and I was not disappointed XD

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  2. "Anti-fa approved"
    And another one bring cultural fuckup to fantasy uniervse...

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    1. Warhammer has a long history of making political points. Perhaps you should research the topic before you embarrass yourself in public.

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  3. I'm not sure it's a good idea to make fun of politicians being attacked in the streets simply for campaigning. A British politician was murdered in broad daylight just 3 years ago for doing nothing more than canvasing her own area.

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    1. I'm not sure how having a milkshake thrown at you is the same thing as being murdered, or that having Milkshakes in a game that describes 100s of ways of killing people is particularly problematical.

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    2. And Jo Cox ("A British politician" 9_9) was murdered by a fascist wielding a gun & a knife, not an antifascist wielding a mikshake.

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  4. PrometheanZer022 May 2019 at 07:13

    Comparing hitting a fash prick with a shake to murder is peak neo-liberalism

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  5. Beautifully rendered idea, and the scenarios are very much in keeping with those in the original rule book. Whilst I think it's a suitable topic for a bit of satire (there have been plenty of newspaper cartoons on the topic), the comments suggesting that the real-life milkshake thrower was doing the right thing really worry me. It's clearly not the same thing as murdering someone, but both are part of a rising trend of abuse, death threats, intimidation and physical attacks against politicians. The thrower is being charged with a criminal offence, and I hope he is convicted as a deterrent to others. Anyone applauding him is legitimising and encouraging this behaviour, both in their own supporters but also in their opponents, who can then characterise it as retaliation. If it's ok to throw a milkshake at Farage, is it ok to throw an egg at Corbyn? Answer:no to both.

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    1. Hey glad you like the pastiche.

      Not sure this kind of thing is a growing trend, or a kind of always on background radiation, from Heath in the 1970s to Prescott, Milliband, Corbyn, some eggers were charged and convicted, others not. Serious discussion on the rights and wrongs are probably better discussed elsewhere, after all there is more violence taking place on most wargaming tabletops than a bit of milk throwing.

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  6. Oh dear, I just came here to relax from all the politics... and got milkshaked :/

    Honestly you should make the effect go both ways - the throwers characteristics should drop to 0 too and the whole board should start whining.

    GG

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    1. There's always a bit of political satire going on around these parts. The double-edged sword is a interesting motif and tricky to get right in a game like 40k, worth a ponder...

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  7. Yes to topical humour! No to suggesting a satirical blog post about dairy flinging will lead to real world escalations. "Right, you're nicked, street goon who threw a shake" "But officer, Zhu wrote it into a scenario! I thought that made it legal!"

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  8. The real question is: why can't a model hold another weapon without having first disposed of the milkshake? Surely you can hold a chainsword in one hand, milkshake in the other?

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    1. Unfortunately the synthistyrene lid on the container is very ill fitting and prone to causing accidental spillage if not handled carefully. Maybe ambidextrous mutants wouldn't suffer th

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    2. Perhaps a model who tries to fire a weapon while holding a milkshake has to pass a Cool test, or they drop the milkshake on themselves and suffer the consequences?

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    3. It's just normal milkshake - the tactical deployment weaponises it and any accidental spillage would have no in-game effect. Perhaps the nice cold ice cold milkshake carrying models would always keep their Cool. Custard Pies would be an entirely different matter.

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