An Unnatural History of the Fighting Fantasy Orc

The first ever encounter in the first ever Fighting Fantasy adventure, is an encounter with an ORC...  he's slumped asleep in a chair with a rather funky hat and patchwork leather armour on, and one has the choice to sneak past him or not.

ORC GUARD (note the wrong-handedness, maybe he is an an early MUTANT ORC, but no Russ admits it was just a slip) proving that exotic headgear is the nme of the game if you mean business, if you want to get a head, get a hat!

Or just be one of those ORCS sitting around  a table. One of the wonderful things about Russ Nicholsons ORCS is how threadbare, downtrodden, grumpy and human they are. Their bulbous noses and pointy ears give them a fairytale and aged appearance that perfectly suits Russ complex ornate and grungy visual style.  Russ's drawing there reminds me of these two disheveled denizens of Oil Drum Lane.

You dirty old Orc!

Perhaps not an intentional reference, but Russ's ORCS, like Galton & Simpsons rag and bone men, are cruel, occasionally nasty but are anything but two dimensional monsters, they seem to have a tired, grubby existence outside of being the bad-guys. They're almost sympathetic characters, something that no other illustrator of FF would quite brings to the mix. 

And here's a mixed bag of creatures, an ORC two GOBLINs and a green DWARF. Russ's Orc here is a slightly more youthful, muscular type than we encountered in Warlock of Firetop Mountain - but still, to my mind somewhat reminiscent of Harry H. Corbett.

The next ORCS we meet are haunting FF3  The Forest of Doom (1983), Malcom Barters use of white space through Forest of doom is masterful, integrating elements into the page in an almost dreamlike manner, capturing the sunburst through the trees. His ORCs seem of a kind with the precedent set by Russ, gangly large headed goblin-men, dressed in rags with unsavory appetites.

Ian McCaig Deathtrap Dungeon FF7. Here the ORC becomes much more muscular than  Nicholsons and Barters skinny, gangly freaks. The viceral form of Ians drawing is really quite outstanding, there's no wonder he is one of the most sought after concept artists and illustrators. A violent, action Gladatorial figure,  wearing a wide "championship belt", ranking him up against boxers and wrestlers alike. It is the first, but by no means the last time we see the ORC topknot. In fact this haircut comes to be something of a signature device of the Fighting Fantasy ORC. It could be a Hindu Shika, a Manchu queue or perhaps displaying various Arabian influences. It does also remind me of the Elf warriors in Ralph Bakshis seminal 1977 fantasy animation Wizards,  designed by the mighty pen of Mike Ploog although the creatures concerned are not identified as ORCs.

It may be significant that both Balthus Dire and the GARK as drawn by Russ Nicholson in FF3 The Citadel of Chaos also sport the same hair style, suggesting it's something of a cultural rather than racial motif in Allansia....

And it turns up again in FF8s bulgey eyed and bobble-headed SWAMP ORCS of Scorpion Swamp by Duncan Smith - strangely missed this branch of the Orc lineage first time around (thanks to Furgolas for the spot), probably because they look a little too much like goblins or even kobolds than what we have become accustomed to as Orcs. They seem to keep the ragged dishevelled look of Russ's original, but have something of Dave Trampiers Wormy.

Thanks to Kelvin Green for noting that I'd originally missed this one...

Les Edwards original cover for 1984s FF#8 Caverns of the Snow Witch (incidentally, available as an art print from Les site) very much in line with what Ian McCaig had set out in Deathtrap Dungeon, with topknot, small pointy nose and athletic physique.This ORC however, is kitted out with piecemeal leather and studded armour, and some natty tiger-skin pants.  Similar to original Warlock of Firetop Mountain that has a different depiction of Zagor on the cover than the internal art, the internal depiction of the ORC doesn't quite follow the same vision...

The internal art by Gary Ward & Edward Crosby features Fighting Fantasy's first bald ORC. It should come as no surprise that Ward & Crosby are one (two) of my favourite Fighting Fantasy illustrators. Their line and pattern is like Russ Nicholson meets David Trampier, their drawings have a heavy, ornate, tangible quality that wouldn't be out of place in the AD&D Fiend Folio. They also did the drawings of Dave Morris Castle of Lost Souls solo adventure in White Dwarf, but as far as I know nothing else in the fantasy genre.

Ward & Crosby give their ORC a decidedly simian look, possibly following the work of Frank Frazetta in his Lord of the Rings portfolio 1975 but with further exaggerations - the low cranium, deep eye-sockets, sunken cheeks, no nose, extended maxilla (upper jaw) and tusks. As far as I know this is the first ever depiction of an ORC with this specific set of facial features, but it won't be the last. This look would go on to dominate the portrayal of ORCS in popular culture throughout the 80's and 90s, Citadel Miniatures mid 80s Orcs (sculpted by Kevin Adams) the Space Orks in the Waargh The Ork supplements for Warhammer 40k, and subsequently picked up by Blizzard in their Warcraft games.

FF14 - Temple of Terror (1985) - ORC ASSASSIN by Bill Houston. Much more humanoid proportions. It might just be that he is an ORC ASSASSIN, but he reminds me somewhat of Zarak the Evil Half-Orc Assassin from the 1983 AD&D plastic toy range, Half-Orcs are MAN-ORCs in Fighting Fantasy parlance.

Zarak via

HALF-ORCs? one may well ask half ORC and half-WHAT? whilst usually it means "half-human" in Fighting Fantasy it could be anything, and in this case TROLL!

"Orc Charge" by Chris Achilleos - however it's publication in Out of the Pit (1985) identifies the subject matter as DORAGAR - the long haired, spiky armoured crossbreeds betwixt TROLL and ORC, so not a depiction of ORCS proper, and deserve an enquiry all of their own, whence they come from and how deviating their depictions are.  It proved popular with Games Workshop who later used it twice.

Ravening Hordes

The front cover of the Ravening Hordes (1987) supplement for Warhammer Fantasy Battle 2nd Edition (by far the  greatest edition of Warhammer ever). Interestingly DORAGAR don't appear in Warhammerland at all, and we assume they are intended to be Orcs, despite their dissimilarity with the designs of Warhamer Orcs, not least because they're not bright green.

White Dwarf 85. Still not ORCS tho.

As well as the front cover of Games Workshops Roleplaying Monthly: White Dwarf #78.  Art prints are available from from Chris web site I've yet to determine whether this piece was commissioned for Out of the Pit specifically as a depiction of the DORAGAR, and later renamed as "Orc Charge" to make the it more attractive for subsequent licensing, or whether Chris originally planned it as a depiction of ORCs  and Marc Gascoigne or someone else involved at Puffin picked it out to illustrate the DORAGAR. Either way, according to Out of the Pit, these are emphatically not the ORCS we were looking for...

And speaking of Games Workshop, the very next incarnation of the actual Fighting Fantasy ORC is 1986 Citadel Miniatures range of 60mm Fighting Fantasy toy soldiers. Pretty much eschewing both the features of the Fighting Fantasy ORC and the contemporary ranges of Citadel Miniatures Orcs which also tended to be quite wiry. Instead we have large, hulkng, muscular beasts, slightly reminiscent of the exaggerated musculature of the He-Man action figures popular at the time, which, when painted green, give the impression of the Incredible Hulk with a monkey head, which can only be a good thing!

via the wonderful Fantasy Toy Soliders Blog

The 60mm Citadel ORCs can also be seen as drawn by Dave Andrews in an advert for the range in the 1986 Citadel Journal, alongside SKELETONS, GOBLINS and OGRES. Dave brings his characteristic bold graphic look to the models. The whole range can be seen on the Fantasy Toy Soliders Blog and well worth a look. Facially, if not physically these ORCs do carry forward many of the features of the Ward & Crosby Orc, and while the Simian-Hulk look does recur in ORCs in other places (Warcraft, Warhammer) it's a long while before it returns to Fighting Fantasy.

Bone-throwing ORC SHAMAN and  HASHAK - the ORC-GOD both drawn by Paul Bonner and both appearing in Marc Gasgoines opus  Titan the Fighting Fantasy World (1987). The large-headed, tusked-simian, sunken cheekbones  strongly resembles Ward & Crosby's frozen Orc in Caverns of the Snow Witch, but also retain some of the gangly, rope-muscled physique of earlier ORCs. Paul would go on to produce concept art and illustration for Citadel Miniatures in a similar vein. However we don't see this particular combination of physiology return to the Fighting Fantasy milieu.

By strange coincidence Titan signals a bit of a quite period for the humble ORC.  Fighting Fantasy as a series foregoes the traditional Dungeon / Wilderness fantasy gaming setting and wanders off into more exotic locales, outer-space, under water, the mystic east and beyond for several books...

But then, the ORCs return, as do we...  to Baron Sukumvits Deathtrap Dungeon in the long awaited sequel, FF21 Trial of the Champions. Here  Brian Williams gives us two muscular, furry panted fellows - shades of Barry Windsor-Smiths design for  Marvel comics Conan the Barbarian but Brian also takes the ORC back to Ian McCaigs rendition in Deathtrap Dungeon, with matching topknots, creating consistency with the pre-simian image of the Orc.

Russ Nicholson follows suit with a rather crazed PYGMY ORC in FF23 Masks of Mayhem. It's one of the features of Fighting Fantasy that rather than have creatures exist in ecological niches - i.e. GOBLINS as small ORCS, there is ever increasing variety and specialisation, so instead of just ORCS, Fighting Fantasy actually has 12 ORC variants, from MARSH ORCS to SNIFFER ORCS and of course Masks of Mayhems PYGMY ORC. And that's not including the half-breeds such as the MAN-ORC or ORC-DARKELF crossbreed known as the BLACKHEARTS

One of these more exotic types turns up next...

The vampiric BLOOD ORCS. These look like they might be half-breeds with  AD&D Barbed Devils along side a more traditional vision of the ORCS...

Alan Langfords, FF24 Creature of Havoc, whose ORC commander strikes an impressive pose. Upright, very human stance and proportions, somewhat reminiscent of the Treens from Dan Dare. It's the only instance of an ORC in Fighting Fantasy that has this very upright humanoid stance and proportions. We also get to see one of Langfords classic horned, heavily armoured Lizardmen at the back, which Alan introduced way back in FF7 Island of the Lizard King (1984).

Dave Carsons hideous ORC in FF25 Beneath Nightmare Castle. Weird pointy head-gear and strange large watery eyes seem to make this ORC hypnotically disgusting.

FF26 Crypt of the Sorcerer (1987) by John Sibbick. These ORCS are very much in the same mold as mid-1980s Citadel Miniatures (Sibbick had provided artwork based on Citadel Miniatures designs for Warhammer Fantasy Battle 3rd Edition and Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 1st Edition), and indeed many of these motifs, especially the squarish jutting lower jaw can be seen to go back to Citadel Miniatures Fantasy Tribe range of Orcs  and their Ral Partha forebears.

This style of ORC will return, but before that we have a detour into the world of the weird. Take a deep breath, because these ORCS are far from normal...

FF28 Phantoms of Fear (1987) is a delve into the dreamlands of the ELVES, and Ian Millers nightmarish visions provide a perfect accompaniment for a journey into the dark and delerious realm of the elven unconscious.  The ORCs here are heavily armoured spiteful looking weirdos, ornate, spiked and layered. Broad noses, ornate helmets, shaven topknot haircuts (again, on PYGMY ORCS) layered and piecemeal clothing. But where previously ORCs had been depicted as gladiators, watchmen, and grumpy layabouts,  these are warriors, armed with shield, sword and mace, giving them a military edge not seen before. Ian also gives us a wonderful 3 armed MUTANT ORC for good measure. 

FF 30 Chasms of Malice (1987)  Russ Nicholson returns. Again, the topknots, however these ORCS are a more human proportioned type with a more muscular physique,  gone are Russ's aged, bulbous nosed and lanky limbed layabouts, instead these ORCS are toothy grinning, semi-simian fellows with more purpose and malice about them. Their costume remains a combination of patchwork armour and ornament, leaving behind Ian Millers heavy armour and getting their bare arms out in proper ORC style.

Alan Langsford returns in FF31 Battleblade Warrior (1988) -  his ORC SHAMAN looks on while what looks like a horned BLOOD ORC drinks from a normal ORC corpse. The face of the shaman looks something of a Liger whilst it's good to see the animal-pelt headdress remains from Paul Bonner original, it's a shame the leopard print kilt seems to have vanished.

FF34 Stealer of Souls brings us yet more ORC goodness from the pen of Russ Nicholson. It seems he has adopted the simian faces, rather than the  Russ's signature wrappings and heavy ornamentation. Its a convergence of styles that is going to stay around for a while.

FF36 Armies of Death Nick Williams. The human proportioned, round head, small nose physiology continue. This is the second image of an ORC with a large mallet like hammer.

Then, Chris Achilleos returns with his cover for The Trolltooth Wars (1989) entitled "Orc Hero" Again, this piece can be purchaed from Chriss website as an Art Print. It features a bodybuilder-esque ORC fighting a SKELETON. The Orc has a scimitar and a curved knife - popular weapon choices. 

 

MUTANT ORC complete with tentacle and crab hands.

David Gallagher, in FF39 Fangs of Fury, FF41 Master of Chaos (1990)and FF43 Keep of the Lich Lord (1990) who apart from the Tusker, the boar-headed orc, but the heavy bottom-lipped, bald-headed fellow follows very much the same human-proportioned, muscular design as established by John Sibbick, Russ Nicholson and Nick Williams. There is also at least one other one by David which I've missed the image of, with a top-knot once again reinforcing its relationship with the ORC. The Boar-headed fellow, while clearly some form of MUTANT ORC ties the Fighting Fantasy Orc into the Ploobian Orc genus, with it's genetic heritage in Chinese folklore, Disney movies and Star Wars. Moving swiftly on, without getting too side-tracked...

In FF 44 The Legend of the Shadow Warriors  (1991) we meet another tribe of unruly ORCs - the Black Scorpions of Witchteeth Mountains, illustrated by Martin McKenna, but showing a lot of influence from Paul Bonners orcs - the shaman dressed almost exactly as the earlier illustration in Titan, and the figures in the back seem to me to bear something of a similarity to some of Pauls work in the Warhammer 40,000 supplement Waargh the Orks (1990). 

FF 54 The Legend of Zagor (1993) illustrated again, by Martin McKenna, but slightly less squat and bow legged, although he is sat down whilst enjoying a tasty rat. Apparently there's a lot of sitting around if you're an ORC in Fighting Fantasy land....

Although it's actually an OGRE sitting down in this one, and a grinning ORC in the foreground, with his ear-ring, fur and scimitar, that's an OGRE on the throne. Odd, that seating is such a theme in FF illustrations and this one seems particularly familiar....

Ian McCaig's Casket of Souls! (1987) both Legend of Zagor and Casket of Souls are set in Ian Livingstones world of Amarillia rather than the traditional Titan where most Fighting Fantasy is set.But nonthless, the bald, snub-nosed, wide-mouthed ORC is very much in evidence.

and another one by Martin McKenna again, from Legend of Zagor.

Wizard Series FF21 Eye of the Dragon (2005) (based on the mini dungeon in Dicing with Dragons, which also features an illustration of a Runequest Tusk Rider, as well as another Russ Nicholson ORC, but it's not strictly Fighting Fantasy so we'll leave it there) illustrated again by Martin McKenna, although some 10 years since the last ORC. The  Morning Star returns from way back in Deathtrap Dungeon, cementing it's place as the ORCs weapon of choice alongside scimitars, axes, two-handed mallets). The deep set eyes and pointy ears bring to mind  Mortiis or Mug Mecklebones from Ridley Scott's 1985 movie Legend. However I think what we're really looking at is the influence of Weta's  2001-3 adaptation of The Lord of the Rings.

ORCS in Peter Jacksons adaptation of The Lord of the Rings

Not that large pointy ears are particually new, if anything at all, they are one of the most consistent features of the ORC.

Gavin Mitchell's forthcoming comic-book adaptation of Steve Jacksons Fighting Fantasy Novel The Trolltooth Wars. The HELLHOUND handler is a HILL GOBLIN and the large, hulking creature in the background is  supposed to be an ORC (if I'm not mistaken, it could be a green OGRE) who appears very much in the Simian-Hulk vein that can be seen in the Fighting Fantasy 60mm figures, and is recognizably following last seasons World of Warcraft and Warhammer ORC imagery. I say "last seasons", as the ORCs in the Warcraft movie seem to not be green any more, and Warhammer got blown up or something.

The representation of the ORC in Fighting Fantasy never really rests or settles. Each artist brings their own predilections, influences and ideas of what an ORC may be like, and the world of Titan embraces it. Occasionally the artists follow the popular design of the times, occasionally they strike out on their own, occasionally they build upon previous Fighting Fantasy imagery and occasionally they completely reinvent it. Unlike the videogames and movies of today Fighting Fantasy didn't have a team of concept artists sit down and define the look of everything, instead Fighting Fantasy grew, piece by piece, ORC by ORC.  Many of the illustrations are classic, ORC-defining pieces of imagery in their own right. There are distinct trends, recurring motifs and patterns in the design, suggesting deviating genetic branches, loops and whorls and subcultures of ORC.

We could try to fit the changes in the ORC to a grand historical narrative - exotic cultural motifs such as the top-knot giving way to more generic bestial features, or a degeneration from meerly grumpy ner-do-wells to foot-soldiers of evil, yet none of these stories really hold true. While any die-hard Fighting Fantasy fan may have their favorite rendition of these ubiquitous antagonists,  it is seemingly fitting for a book series that is essentially about branching stories, that there seems to be no linearity in the historical narrative of the Fighting Fantasy ORC. Indeed it seems to return to a precodified view of monsters, where goblins, hobgoblins, fae, giants, elves and orcneas weren't strictly delineated groups as Gary Gygax proposed in his Monster Manual but instead sifting folkloric symbols for supernatural experiences and ideas that defy strict categorisation.

In pulling together this history, it has been hard to draw a line between it and other representations of ORCs - many of the artists who drew for Fighting Fantasy also had connections to Games Workshop and Citadel Miniatures, Russ Nicholson having supplied illustrations that served as designs for many of their earliest ranges, Paul Bonner, Ian Miller, John Sibbick and David Gallagher would all provide artwork for Games Workshop as concept art or based on their miniature designs (many features of which directly echo Tom Meiers earlier "Giant Goblin" designs for Ral Partha), which, when we consider that the first ever fantasy miniature produced was an ORC  ME1 Man-orc with Sword from Minifigs Mythical Earth range, sculpted by Dick Higgs in 1972  it seems not unreasonable to extend the circle of enquiry ever further.

Minifigs Man-orc with Sword

And when we consider Fighting Fantasy's inaugral visualiser Russ Nicholson was active in Tolkien fandom (providing illustrations for the Anduril zine back in 1975) and the near universal availability of Tolkien imagery, we inevitably find the tangled roots of the Fighting Fantasy ORC claw us back to the dark origins of the modern ORC to be found in the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien, and the artwork inspired by it.

Nontheless, what  Fighting Fantasy did was to encapsulate the ORC (and arguably many other fantasy archetypes) for a time and space, a time when for many kids, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain (which, after all, has sold two million copies) or Deathtrap Dungeon (topping the childrens best-seller list) encapsulated the ORC ZEITGEIST, create it's own, unique take on the monster and thrust him into unsuspecting homes, schools, libraries and imaginations where he had never trod before.

Frank's Alcoholic Root Beer in The Castle of Lost Souls

So I wake up 3 months later with a blistering headache and wondering what on earth is going on. At breakfast with my employers, the Greengosh family I crack open a bottle of Frank's Alcoholic Root Beer (4%), and receive disapproving glances from their youngest. I'm also given "a rather foul smelling preparation made from rancid milk, animal fat, and rotting vegetables" - What a bizarre coincidence! The root-beer tastes like a rancid preparation of Coke (probably because of the vanilla) and anti-septic mouthwash (probably because of the aniseed) and lager.

Wishing pseudo-medieval Europe had toothbrushes to clean the taste out of my mouth, I put on the magic boots I stole from the giant (see prog 131 - Zhu) and head off to get some Nuns hair and saints ashes. Throwing 4 coins at an underbridge toll-man beggar, he informs me that nuns shave their heads before entering a coven (so it's downstairs nun hair I'm looking for?!?) - I head off to desecrate a shrine and steal some charred saint corpse. The gods spot that I'm a good for nothing low-life scum and send an Angel Warrior to defend their saintly relics. A swig of Franks (not so bad with the second go) to aid my courage and I send him back to the mists he came from. Rolling the 3 dice the 2 'to Hit' and one 'Damage' at the same time, speeds up combat dramatically. I steal the urn and head off to the hills.

I come across a gang of robbers beating up an old man and his travelling companions and decide to help them out, an epic amount of dice rolling ensues as I fight off 4 robbers, one named Emaj Dogbreath,  perhaps he had some of Frank's Alcoholic Root Beer earlier in the day. But rather than show him sympathy for his stinky-breathed plight, I beat the living daylights out of him. I get 2 points of honour for my efforts and disapproving looks from a novice-to-be, probably due to the stench of Root Beer exuding from my mouth.  Nonetheless I escort them to the nunnery, where the nuns heal me up, give me food and board and a strand of newly shaven nuns hair.  So it was upstairs hair all along. Thank goodness for that!

Off we go, and come across some guy fishing, I try to pass off some of my Root Beer on to him and he hands me his fishing rod. Together we land a fish the size of a dog and he gives me a magical 'ring of light'. What a lovely chap, despite his hints of cannibalism. Wander off,  away from the river and taking another swig, decide that the Alcoholic Root Beer is really not for me, but, I'll see it though to the aniseedy end. Suddenly. out of no-where a Lammasu appears. I take the pseudo-medieval comment back, there is clearly some middle-eastern thing going on. Time for some game-theory: I know Lammasu in D&D are good aligned, but I also know that Dave Morris expects that I know that Lammasu in D&D are good aligned. But Dave Morris also knows that I expect him to throw a googly every now and then, so if he thinks that I expect a trick, then it won't be a trick and the winged lion-man will be good. While debating my next move with myself, the Root Beer seems to have gone flat (which doesn't improve the flavour at all) and the Lammasu shows me his paw has a thorn in it. Like something out of the Bible, I remove the thorn from the Lammasu and he gives me a point of Honour, congratulates me on a fine use of game-theory and advises me to not try that sort of thing in future in case I doublethink myself into oblivion.

What's in your backpack?
Stinky potion of healing, the 3 dice combat-fu and Ljósdvergar

Heading out of the hills, I meet two goblins who do the classic 'he always lies' routine, and I go right and head off into the mists. The Root Beer seems to have coated the inside of my mouth and I'm belching like a giant toad in mating season. Not good. The alcohol doesn't seem very prominent just a slight blurring of the edges and the whole world smells like a dentists surgery. I start to see various items from my back-pack hanging off trees, but am used to the effects of hallucinogenic mist, so choose to ignore them and just keep walking. While trying to get some sleep, a gaggle of Marshoons - strange leathery creatures - are attracted by the light of the fire and threaten to squash me with their curiosity. Using the ring of light gained from the fisherman person, I send out an impressive flash of light scattering the Marshoons off, into the night. Next morning, staggering around a bit more in the mist, I eventually espy the Castle of Lost Souls, but it seems to keep moving, every time I get close, it moves away. The beer isn't that strong, so it must be the magics. Gipsy Gails crystal ball shows the way out of the mist and onwards, towards episode 4 and the conclusion of the quest...

At last we enter Castle Greyskull (at least that is what the illustration looks like) I poke around on the ground floor for a bit, finding nothing. Then go upstairs, ignore a lot of doors and get into a fight with a bearskin rug. I'm not sure ignoring the doors is the best thing to do, the Castle of Lost Souls seems to generally reward curiosity and exploration, but I'm eager to see the end. Not as eager as I am to get to the end of the foul brew I'm forcing myself to drink. Nonetheless, I manage not to freeze to death in a freezing trap of death and not be turned to a minion of the demon Slank by having enough Honour Points. Then ta-da, up pops the final battle with the demon himself. He's a toughie, who guarantees a hit every round, but of course evil is vanquished in the end. Liberally sprinkling powdered saint  over his demon corpse I free the imprisoned spirits from the castle and have finally won the day! The people of the land celebrate, give me some mithril armour (no mention of it's armour value tho') and 700 GP, which should pay off this adventurers bar tab. THE END.

If you like Root Beer a lot, then give Frank's a try. If your not a frequent Root Beer drinker, avoid it. Not even with a 10ft pole. Rancid doesn't come close to describing its awfulness, it's just not worth it. Never again.

Overall, I really enjoyed the Castle of Lost Souls. The episodic format works nicely, the combat system is quick, but like most solos, involves a lot of dice rolling. The multi-combatant combat even had a slightly tactical element, as choosing the order of which enemy to fight has an impact on the outcome. The use of Honour is a well implemented 'alignment' system, that allows you the freedom to do good or bad things and those actions to have consequences. For example - the episode with the robbers and the nun gave the choice of fighting on the robbers side, I don't know what happens if you take that choice, but just having the 'do evil' choice there has a much more mature feel than only giving the options of heroic or cowardly action.  The moral-relativity 'grittyness' is balanced with encounters which are both colourful and enjoyable, the quirkiness of giants with rubber gloves and acid lakes or Lammasu with thorns in their paws doesn't become ridiculous, but added flavour and interest.

The series ran in White Dwarf issues 52-55, and was reprinted in the Golden Dragon Gamebook series, which was named after my local Chinese restaurant (or not).

Beer: -1 Gamebook: 4 (just need a graphic of Derek the Troll jumping with glee)

Destiny Quest 1: The Shadow Legion

Destiny Quest is that rarest of rare things, a new gamebook. Penned by Michael J. Ward published by Matador. Combat is very Fighting Fantasy, with Speed instead of Skill, then variable damage by dice-roll, modified by equipment with an armour factor reducing it.  However, after a combat your health/stamina/hit-points return to full, and the rules state that if your health/stamina/hit-points go to zero, then just return to the map and choose another quest. You cannot die.

Now, if Gamebooks were D&D, I can imagine the grognard-o-sphere scoffing about the kids today, their sense of entitlement to win, and their inability to deal with losing, having to have everything handed to them on a plate, being molly-coddled.  Not only that, but (bear in mind I'm still playing through chapter 1) the narrative drive is essentially about levelling up, getting better equipment,  and creating ever more powerful character builds. Promoting  munchkinism and min-maxing over flawed characters? blashphemy! But this isn't D&D, and there aren't any gamebook aficionados who'd seriously argue that Ian Livingstone's random insta-death, impossibly hard monsters, and start again from the very beginning because you didn't find the right keys, gems or body parts at the very last encounter is actually a better way of writing gamebooks, but then Ian does have an OBE.

What's in your backpack? Destiny Quest 1. limited edition dice, trading card and booze.

Structurally, Destiny Quest is a little different from most game books, being a largely unrelated collection of colour-coded, combat orientated scenarios threaded together by a map. Because the scenarios can be played in any order, although you're advised to take the colour coding into account, else you won't have tooled up properly to defeat the monsters, there doesn't appear to be any path dependencies (i.e. requirement to have picked up object B from location X to progress) requirements. Nor does there appear to be any scenario where decision making is more important than combat, however this observation should be taken lightly, as at 400 pages, this is a probably the largest single gamebook I've ever seen, and I have only just started Chapter II.


The episodes themselves, one contains the immortal lines 'you must fight the turnips as a single enemy' and a nice riff on Little Red Riding Hood. This kind of folksy, fairy-tale influenced, grimy low level stuff is just what I love, it's the weird muddied heart of the Realm of Zhu. The writing is superb, gripping, action filled, atmospheric stuff, Ward really knows how to put you into a scene. Many reviews I've read comment on how hard it is to put the book down, and just play one more quest. Rather than game mechanics or geeky enthusiasm for a new gamebook, I put this entirely down to how well the prose is written. 


Final criticism, the cover. It's pink. I've no idea what people were thinking. Teenage girls are off reading The Twilight Saga and the infinite gothic romance clones it has spawned and boys have been trained that pink=girls-stuff. Come on, it can't have been that hard to have had a dark blue cover. I'm sure sales would have been improved no-end in the 12-16 year old market.


Damn, I seem to have written a review. Have to write up some drinking exploits next time.


Destiny Quest is available from Amazon, and also as a Signed Collectors edition with two limited edition loot cards from Ward's eBay shop . I got special DQ dice with mine too, but can't see that on ebay right now.

Wainwright in the Castle of Lost Souls

A seasoned adventurer, fresh from clearing off the ghoul-witches of Dastragor Marsh, I head to the nearest tavern for a bottle of Thwaites Wainwright 4.1% and some enterprising gamblers take a bet on whether I get some adventuring job or other. As it turns out, I don't get the job, and some loud-mouthed braggart called Salakar gets it instead. I decide I might be able to steal the job by listening in on the task at hand, and gaining an edge on him and winning gainful employment. Hear something about magic shoes, (test cleverness, succeed), saints ashes and crystal ball.

What's in your backpack?
30-second character sheet, White Dwarf mags,
Beer, Pencil and 2D6

Following our rival, I buy a flint, tinder and lantern from the local shop, why? i don't know, but what's good enough for Salakar is good enough for me. Likewise, as  Salakar heads of into the hills to the north (it's always north isn't it?), he pauses to refresh himself by a brook whilst I take a swig of the Wainwright, the clean light body is quite refreshing, an amiably drinkable beer this one. After a brief rest Salakar sets off again, and promptly gets ambushed by hill goblins, then trounced by a giant, who after a brief fight throws my rival over a cliff. Hurrah! Rushing over to Salad-cart, sorry, Salakar he passes the mantle of champion on to me before biting the dust. Choking back the tears (of laughter), I take the traditional adventurers route of robbing his corpse before creeping up to the Giants cave and hacking at the oversised bully with my sword. Thankfully due to the clumbsyness of the Giant, the fact he'd already taken damage, my armour, and booze-fuelled combat rage he is quickly dispatched.  Time for a celebratory quaff, the later taste is quite citrusy, I can imagine Wainwright would make a killer shandy on warm summer days, and at 4.1%, not to heady, but that's quite enough of that, there's deeds to be done...

Hmm. The Giants cave ends in a T-junction and there is no clue which way to go. What would Salad-cart have done? heading left down a narrow corridor deep into the hill, I find a chest, open it, nearly get pinned by 3 darts, get some Giant rubber gloves. Kinky! Back to the cave then taking the right turn, I find a chamber with a slab and a pool, the stone slab won't shift, but wearing the gloves I can pull a lever under the water. Nice puzzle, very reminiscent of old adventure games or 'Interactive fiction'. The slab moves, and down I go into a secret chamber. Bloody hell! I'm jumped on by a classic D&D regenerating Troll, who does a bit of damage before I hack him to pieces and burn his freakish shrivelled corpse. Glug down some Wainrights to cleanse the pallet of charred Troll flesh, grab the magic shoes and head back to town.

I've got the magic shoes, and nobody gives a stuff about Sauerkraut or whatever he was called being dead. We all have a celebratory guzzle of Wainwright, the lemon tang seems to have mellowed out a bit now, and the crisp dryness is coming though. Apparently these magic shoes are going to send me to a demons castle. Nobody said nothing about no demon, doesn't sound like the kind of adventure that leads to more beer (how wrong I am, and it also leads to pulling a bird too, bonus!). I fail to roll 2d6 over my lowest stat, so have learned nothing from my adventure, although I've got some nice gloves, 33 more gold than I set out with and I idly stood by whilst a rival adventurer got seen off. All in all a good days work. Here ends part one.

Moving swiftly on to Part 2. So this Hogron guy explains the back-story, fathers soul sold to a demon, and he wants to destroy the demon, return the soul to earth etc. etc. At least I've a sense of purpose other than finding more beer. The only way of killing the demon is to collect a bunch of stuff. I hope I don't have to remember or write any of this down, because I really can't be bothered.

The first task is to make a little girl cry. I go Cherie Blair style and chop up an onion, and get the little girls tears, and gain some Honour for not distressing the little darling to much. Then it's off to 'The Four Leaf Clover Inn' to search for some beer, I mean clover. I find both, so that's me doubly happy. By now the Wainwright is warming up slightly, and there's some really nice mountain-water notes going on.  Heading off to the local fete to find a crystal ball, ignoring a cockfight and a conjurer (it's amazing how many little side-tracks and incidental details are built into such a short game), I get into a fight with a cutpurse, kill him and take his stuff.

Eventually finding myself in the exotically perfumed tent of Gipsy Gayl (she's a hawt 80s hippy elf chick with spooky black eyes, see illustration). I decide to chat her up a bit, taker her out and get her drunk (at the cost of 5 gold). The Wainright is quite foamy and light, definitely proving itself an easy drinker. Unfortunately Gayl isn't as easy, but suitably intoxicated, she dances off with a tambourine, and I return to her caravan to rob her of her mysterious globe.

Pris, Basic Pleasure Model for Military Personnel
Gypsy Gail by Gary Ward

Now only requiring a chink of armour from a chivalrous knight, I visit the relic collector Wincho, who promptly displays the armour of famed sir knight whatever. He offering tea and cake, I counter by offering to finish off the rest of the bottle of Wainrights, which in summary starts with a clean fresh, light body, with a dry aromatic citrisy finish. But while Winchos back is turned I nick some of the sacred armour. Having gained all the items I get an additional point of honour, yay! Unfortunately Honour alone won't refill my bottle, so rather than trapes on to WD 54 and the final chapter, I rest my magic boots here.

Great beer, great adventure, 2-2 draw, which will require a rematch to finish part 3...

Castle of Lost Souls, seriealised in White Dwarf 52, 53, 54, by Dave Morris 
illustrated by Gary "Caverns of the Snow Witch" Ward (need to do an article on this guy, amazing work, up there with the best of Dave Andrews drawings).Wainwright is brewed by Thwaites and widely available in UK supermarkets.

The adventure continues in: Franks Alcoholic Root Beer In the Castle of Lost Souls